Showing posts with label Myasthenia Gravis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Myasthenia Gravis. Show all posts

Monday, April 9, 2012

Reality Check



Today I blog with a heavy heart. Two dear friends and fellow myasthenics passed away in the last week. It just hits home how serious this illness is. My dear friend Steven who rallied around all newly diagnosed patients to give them the nitty gritty no holds barred what to expect version of this illness and Julie, always ready with a laugh or a joke. She, like me, continued to live and work with this illness beyond what some would consider common sense. She just worked on Friday.

This is not an illness that slowly eats away and and then the doctors say, get your things in order, say goodbye. Yes, we know we are ill everyday but we also know people who go into remission, people who have MG in their 80's even 90's and we hold onto that.

I pray for that for all of my friends with this disease but this week reminded me what an infection, a swallow down the wrong tube, or a new medication can do to us. Steven and Julie lived life to the fullest with this disease and I dearly miss them both. I know they are free of the burden of this illness but Myasthenia robbed both of them of a goodbye.

Goodbye my friends ~ See you on the other side

Friday, December 30, 2011

Reflections on 2011


Wow, what a year. When I think back I can't believe that this time last year I was unemployed and battling insurance companies to have my thymectomy. Compared to the battles fought and heartache I went through I would say this year is much better.

This year as the New Year approaches I am sitting comfortably at home with an amazing new employer, I have made friends across the continent and globe for that matter that mean so much to me and I would not know were it not for this illness, I have recently been elected to our local Myasthenia Gravis Foundation Chapter's Board of Director's, I won The Coraggio Award at the Annual Myasthenia Foundation's meeting, I survived my thymectomy and while I spent too much time in hospitals this summer it has been months since I have had a crisis. I was also honored to be asked to speak to a group of 200 pre-med students at Michigan State University and was interviewed on the radio. For not getting around much I sure made a footprint!

This year I am so thankful for my Doctor's who believe in me and trust me and work with me to be as healthy as I can. My physical therapist and therapist who push me just far enough to keep my physical and mental strength at their peak. My family, friends, and even complete strangers who have helped with rides, companionship, finances we are So Blessed! And I can't wait to pay it forward!

Looking forward my hope is to heal more, to go into remission, should that not be in my cards then I wish for my Illness to continue to be a vessel. To educate, comfort, and support others going through this. My biggest wish for this year is for Pat to successfully complete his Software Engineering program at Ferris. He so wants this and I am so proud of how far he has come.

To all of my readers, thank you for your love, your support, and your prayers. A very Happy Healthy New Year to you all!
Jen

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Forgiving myself for things I cannot control.

In the spirit of the New Year I am going to try to get out of my funk and get over myself. I am who I am and I cannot help the fact that I have this disease, but I can choose how to respond to it. More times than not I find myself apologizing for the fact that I cannot walk or talk or go out or see. Is that how I would treat someone else with a severe illness, expect an apology? Goodness no! and yet I find myself saying I am sorry everyday, in fact sometimes I weep.

You see, not too long ago I was the go to girl, the party planner, the social butterfly, the Yes I Can Woman. Now I cannot drive, many days I cannot speak, sometimes I can't even lift my glass to take a sip of water, and that is if I can swallow. But the crazy part of this illness, called Myasthenia Gravis, is that there are parts of every day where I can do most things. As long as I don't overdo it I can make it through one day at a time.

I am not saying that 2012 will not have it's share of hospital stays and treatment reactions. What I am saying is I will accept myself for who I am. I will not apologize. I will love myself and I will give what I can. That is all I can do and I am darn proud of how far I have come.

Each of you are special and each of you still has something to learn and to offer. Embrace it! You mean something! You are not your disease!

Love and Peace,
Jen

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

My dirty little secret, exposed..

Oh the humanity!

While it is no secret that I have Myasthenia Gravis (due to the blogs, vlogs, being on the board, etc...) I don't like people to see me symptomatic. In part because I don't like having to explain over and over again, and in part because I do not want those nearest and dearest to me to see how much I truly endure. If I time it right, they just think I have a neuromuscular illness they can't pronounce that sometimes makes my eyes and mouth look funny and at times makes my foot drag.

Well here are the last two weeks in a nutshell...it was "get over yourself Jen" bootcamp. 1.5 weeks ago, went shopping with Pat and fell out of the electric shopping cart, yes I fell out of the cart while reaching for benedryl (my IVIG premed). I was mortified, I am really much weaker than I thought.

This past weekend we had my brother and sister in law stay with us for Christmas. All went well with me going to sleep before the symptoms hit full force until the last night. I got so bad I was choking on my saliva, couldn't walk straight, and Pat went to bed before me so they had to help me get to bed and saw the dreaded bi-pap that I hide.

I almost ended up at the hospital again as I stopped breathing multiple times but pat was able to wake me enough to prompt the machine to breathe for me. So now what? I don't know, working today, seems foolish but we need the income. For those of you who pray, I could use some.

Love, health, and happiness to you and yours as we approach this new year!

Jen

Friday, December 2, 2011

Up, Down, Round, and Round

So the rollercoaster continues. This week certainly had it's shares of ups and downs. I thought I was headed for a full blown crisis on Tuesday. Thankfully the respiratory therapist and my doctor agreed that changing my breathing machine would help and I avoided another lengthy hospital stay.

I have had quite a bit more pain as well, that seems to happen each time I experience a flare. By the end of the day my wrists just ache and shake from typing all day. My neck hurts and is too hard to lift. Walking...out of the question most of the evening, my feet just drag. I can handle all that as rotten as it sounds but the breathing and swallowing issues have to go!

I am having a hard time swallowing the pills that make me strong enough to swallow pills, how ironic is that? I feel like there is a pile of bricks on my chest. I just want to breathe.

Where are the ups? Oh yes, I had a wonderful week with my new found family of flakes, much laughter. Even through the ups and downs of this wretched disease, I have a caring and understanding employer who allows me to rest and regain my strength. I continue to be overwhelmed daily by the donations...thank you so much! I am truly blessed..Peace and Happiness to you and yours this 1st December weekend - Jen

Friday, November 19, 2010

Never a dull moment

Well my spirit is strong but my body is weak and so it goes with myasthenia. I saw my neurologist on Tuesday and a few changes have been made. First, he has decided to continue treating me with the IVIG but at 1/2 the dose as I seem to tolerate that much better. I was worried he would want to change me to plasmapherisis but given I have such bad veins and a congenital heart defect the IVIG seems to be the way to go. I was worried it wasn't working as well but he said that the fact I went so long with the reaction to the port stitches and only ended up in the hospital after I reacted to the Claritin, it was a good sign that it is doing as much as we can hope for at this time.

Also, the cyclosporine finally started showing up in the blood labs....hooray!!! This means I don't have to move to another major immunosuppressant but I am still not functionally where he would like to see me so he increased my dosage again. This is never fun because the first 2-3 weeks I have severe nausea and stomach cramping not to mention a need to visit the restroom every hour throughout the day. Hopefully that will taper off as I get use to the dosage.

We also broached the subject of having a thymectomy again. I am hesitant as it is major surgery but am getting closer to surrendering in the hopes that it will work and make me stronger. The evidence is not great in that 75% of patients do not see an improvement but I agreed to have a consult with the thoracic surgeon to weigh out the pros and cons. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as this is a major decision for me and my family.

Lastly I found out that my labs have been off for the past few weeks. My red blood cell count, my hematocrit, and my hemoglobin are all low and keep dropping. If my hemoglobin stays low the neurologist said a blood transfusion may be needed. At this point I welcome it as I have been so tired and even weaker than normal lately and it is supposed to really give you a boost.

So that is about it, I know it is alot of information but it was a productive appointment. I continue to have to use the walker daily and my vision is constantly affected by this beast of a disease. On good days I have no depth perception, on bad days I have double vision. They say this is the one symptom that tends to not go away with medication. I was lucky in the beginnning but I think the myasthenia is winning the battle in that regard. I will continue to do my physical therapy which consists of trying to strengthen my diaphragm, wrists, and ankles. The recent flare up set me back quite a bit in regards to overall weakness but I am hopeful that I will start to see some improvement soon.

Ta Ta for now and happy Friday!
Jen

Friday, November 5, 2010

Another hospital stay, urgh!

Well, I managed to stay out of Club Med for 9 whole months. I had gotten pretty used to dealing with my illness at home with my weekly IVIG. Sure I have had daily symptoms of weakness and vision issues that are a bother but I was getting used to managing my new life. Unfortunately the beast had other plans and a myasthenic crisis decended upon me on Monday.

For those of you who don't know, a Myasthenic Crisis is when the illness affects the muscles involved in swallowing and breathing. I have had three of these since my illness began, scary stuff when you can't communicate to the doctors what is going on but I will start at the beginning.

As you know, in September I had a port put in for my weekly infusions. It has worked wonders in not having to get jabbed multiple times trying to find a vein that will work with the IV but the incision never stopped itching and has been red the entire time. Not hot or oozing, just red. Last week my IVIG nurse said I should really let the surgeon know about the itching and redness so Monday morning I went in and showed the nurse what it looked/felt like. She spoke with the doctor and they said I should take Claritin for 7 days and call if it got worse or if after 7 days it didn't improve.

40 minutes after taking the Claritin, which I have never taken before, I couldn't open my eyes, lift my arms, or speak/breathe very well. My husband put a mestinon under my tongue and the weakness slightly subsided. An hour and a half later I was in dire straits, any attempt at breathing resulted in an awful sound and I was like a wet noodle. My hubby put me on my walker and wheeled me out to the car and rushed me to the ER. He explained what was going on and they rushed me back and gave me IV prednisone and ordered a NIF test (this tests the strength of the diaphragm muscle). The prednisone helped quite a bit and my NIF score was 20. Anything under 20 and they ventilate you and put you in the ICU which I never wish to experience so I was teetering. They admitted me to the hospital and ordered three days of IVIG and observation.

By day two my NIF was up to 25 and day three it was up to 30, then it went back down to 22, and then back up to 25. I was able to convince them to release me and let me have the 3rd day of treatment at home. I missed my kids and husband and my own bed and sleeping without people waking me up all the time blah, blah, blah.

So now I am resting and recovering. The best guess is that I was having an allergic reaction to the stitches under the skin and that the Claritin didn't agree with the MG and that pushed me into a crisis. So, no more claritin for me, I can deal with the itching until the stitches dissolve though I have no idea how long that will take:)

A few notes for those of you who haven't been admitted for a crisis/exacerbation. Make sure you have a binder/folder with a list of all of your medications, your neurologist's contact information, any test results from prior issues, any allergies or sensitivities, and a durable medical power of attorney so if you get ventilated you have someone who can speak for you. I also recommend requesting that you are able to self medicate your mestinon. I take mine every two hours and if it is late it is bad news, for the nurses about 80% of medications can wait 15 - 30 minutes without making the patient very sick but that isn't the case with myasthenics and mestinon so if you are strong enough make sure to insist this. Also pay close attention to the other meds they are giving you. Two of mine were incorrect. One they wanted to give me two extended release tablets of a med that I take 2 times a day and that would have resulted in an overdose. The other was the calcium I take. I take 500mg of calcium 3 times a day and they sent up Tums. While tums has calcium, the antacid part coats the stomach blocking the absorption of my much needed meds.

I hope this helps someone. For now, I rest and recharge. Stay strong.
Jen

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Report on the Port

Hi all my faithful readers and new friends! I hope today finds you well. I am trying to soak up every last bit of sun before it is gone. I love this weather!!! High 60's to low 70's, the brightest/bluest sky imaginable, bright white puffy clouds...ahhhh. Not too hot, not too cold, and the perfect dose of natural vitamin D.

I wanted to report on the port for those of you considering getting one. Mine has healed up nicely. The treatments are now about an hour shorter because the meds run smooth and steady and there is only one poke. It is perfect and I love it. I always thought ports went out of the skin but I was wrong, it is completely under the skin so no maintenence on my end either...sweet!!!

In other news, I have a confession to make. I cannot sew! I know, what kind of mother am I? I have, however had a sewing machine in my possesion for the last 3 years, it is the old Kenmore type that is built into a table, so I have been using it as a table and the dust on the machine is crazy! But, my IVIG nurse said, hey we are together for 6 hours anyway, want to learn to sew...would I? Yeay!!! I now have a new hobby, and homework:)

That is about it for an update, I hope you all find yourselves well and happy and strong!
Jen

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Med changes, job changes, surgery, oh my...

So you were probably all thinking...hmm, Jen has been quiet, she must be feeling great! Well, I was, and then bam, I found out that I was losing my job. The job that I have loved for 3 years, in the field I have specialized in for over 13 years. As you can imagine my stress level went through the roof and my MG did not react well at all. Things will be okay and everything happens for a reason so I will not go into detail here other than to say I am at peace with it and I am reassessing what this means for the future. And on to med changes...

I saw my neuro in late August and he said that I am really not improving at a rate that he would like to see. That was actually good news for me because it means there is hope for more days without symptoms. My average day lately has me with double vision about 50 percent of the time, needing the walker for at least a few hours, and periods of swallowing and speech difficulty. I have also had fatigue greater than I can put to words and pain in my back and neck that does not easily relieve itself. I stretch, I walk, I do deep breathing, I take meds, I am still in pain.

So for the med changes, I am now on double the dose of IVIG every week. Instead of a 4 hour treatment (which I loved because it flew by) I now have a 6 hour treatment every week. Also, my veins just can't take the constant IV's so on Monday I had surgery to have a port placed. The surgery went well but the anesthesia caused a pretty severe MG flare for the next couple of days. Today I feel like I am back to my "normal" weakness level so that is a good thing. My doctor also upped my Cyclosporine dose back to 100mg a day and the stomach issues are back with a vengence..yuck! He said if that continues then we will switch to a different long term immunosuppressant or try Rituximab.

Say some prayers for my poor battered skin. It turns out the more you are exposed to chemicals the greater the chance for an allergic reaction. I am allergic to tape, tegaderm, opsite, and band aids. My skin actually blistered and tore off with the tape removal and I look like a burn victim in spots...not fun on top of everything else.

Other than that, and I know it is alot, I am hanging in there, keeping my spirits up. The family is doing great. School is in full swing so we have been busy with homework and what not. I hope all of my readers are well and enjoying the fresh fall air.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Before the blog...my journey to diagnosis

So, since I have been horribly inactive I thought I would share the full, unadulterated story of what I went through on my journey to diagnosis. Warning - This Post Is Looong! I have to confess, life has been so busy and so crazy lately that I am taking this from an email I communicated to a newly diagnosed contact but it dawned on me that I didn't start my blog until after my January hospital stay so I would post it here...this is my story...

I was delivered the news that I have bicuspid aortic valve disease unexpectedly last June when I was hospitalized for what appeared to be a stroke. While performing all of the tests to see why the left side of my body was not working and the right side of my face was extremely weak (drooping eyelids, slurred speech, drooping mouth) they performed a bunch of scans/CT/MRI/blood tests and... a chest echo. I was discharged from the hospital with a tentative diagnosis of either anxiety due to stress (though I revealed that life was going quite well aside from the fact that I was hospitalized on my 10 year wedding anniversary) or complex migraines (which was funny to me since I have suffered migraines since I was 16 years old and this “stroke” event did not have the vision auras or any head pain…at all that always accompany a migraine).


Two days after my 3 day hospital stay I saw my GP for follow up and found out that they discharged me without even reviewing the echo. To my surprise, out of all the tests run, this was the only one that was abnormal. It showed a Bi-Cuspid Aortic Valve with insufficiency, mitral valve insufficiency, and tricuspid valve insufficiency with evidence of mild pulmonary hypertension. So, off to the cardiologist I went. The cardiologist performed a TEE which confirmed the BAD with
insufficiency but showed only mild mitral and tricuspid insufficiency and no pulmonary hypertension. He said, you are fine and your heart is unrelated to the stroke like event. I had done some research and had many of the symptoms of pulmonary hypertension: fatigue, shortness of breath, and a feeling of pressure on my chest when I did the slightest of activity. In addition to that I had extreme residual weakness of my eyes and my arms/hands and I was determined to get to the bottom of it considering the fact that I have two young children and I am the primary breadwinner while my husband is back in school. I called a friend of mine who is an RN and she said there was a local Pulmonary Hypertension clinic and gave me the number. Two days later I was in the office of the pulmonologist who saved my life, though neither one of us knew it at the time.


My pulmonologist performed a six minute walk test and after 2 minutes my oxygen SATS dropped to 80, they put me on supplemental oxygen for the remainder of the test and they didn’t go above 88. After the test was finished and I was sitting for 5 minutes they shot up to 100%. He took off the oxygen and they stayed at 100% until he had me get up and walk again, then they fell right back down again. So, he said, there is definitely something wrong with you and I promise to get to the bottom of it. I was prescribed oxygen to use anytime I wasn’t sitting in a chair or laying down, but also when sleeping. Then he one by one ordered the million dollar work up. I had a Chest X-Ray, a Chest CT with contrast, a nuclear pulmonary V/Q scan, a whole body V/Q scan, and a right heart cath. All came back normal so thankfully I did not have pulmonary hypertension. Unfortunately we had no answers except
for the fact that I had an oxygenation problem, weakness, and a Bicuspid Aortic Valve. I also found out that my aortic root had enlarged since a prior CT was performed in 2007, but it certainly wasn't causing these problems. After researching this I found out that people with Bicuspid Aortic Valves are born with connective tissue issues that make them more prone to Aortic Aneurysms, like I needed one more thing to deal with!


In the midst of all these tests I went back to the Neuro who saw me at the hospital, after an EEG he decided it must be complex migraines and wanted to put me on a beta blocker. My old doctor tried that on me and it landed me unconscious in the ER with a blood pressure of 70/50. So, you can imagine my dismay at his recommendation. I said, I am happy to try your theory if you would be willing to run some additional tests first. He was so offended that I would not try the beta blockers and that I challenged his diagnosis that he dropped me as a patient. I walked to my GP’s office in tears (they work in the same building) he told me the guy was a pompous “fill in the blank” and not to worry about him, we would figure this out together. Apparently the neuro I saw went to Harvard and thought he was a big
fish in a little pond and had quite the reputation for upsetting or blowing off patients...just my luck.


The next week I was scheduled for a pulmonary function test which was ordered by my pulmonologist. Note this is the least invasive and least expensive all the tests ordered. At any rate, I was alarmed when my pulmonologist called a few nights later to inform me that the test showed diaphragm weakness due to a neuromuscular disorder. He referred me to a different neurology office and said we may be on the
right path. I went to the appointment and after performing the exam the doctor took a step back and said “I think you have Myasthenia Gravis” this was due to the fatigable generalized weakness and the ptosis from the eye strength test. She called in four residents to show them what it looked like and explained that while there is no cure there is treatment, I said sign me up! However, she wanted to
confirm with the blood test. When the blood test came back negative she was very aloof and said, well I don’t know what it is, maybe vasculits or something. When I asked if I could try a trial dose of Mestinon or Prednisone she said no, there is nothing more I can do for you. I later learned, when gathering my medical files that she suspected anorexia. I went from 150 pounds to 125 pounds and shrinking in two weeks and by the time I saw her (almost 2 months after my hospital stay) I was 115 due to the fact that it was extremely difficult for me to swallow! Note that for a woman who is 5’6” 115 is not considered underweight though the rapid rate at which I was wasting away sure scared the heck out of me. Okay, so that was late August.


I spoke with my GP and he referred me to the University of Michigan. He personally called the head neurologist to discuss my case and by early October I was in Ann Arbor and hopeful for some answers. After going through my 3rd neurological exam, my second EMG, my first single fiber EMG, and more blood tests, the head of Neurology diagnosed me with “suspected sero-negative generalized Myasthenia Gravis.” The only thing he was scratching his head at was the rapid rate at which
my oxygen fell with any level of activity but he did start me on
Mestinon (this was later confirmed to definitely be due to the MG but more on that later). My dad had taken me to that appointment and I was so anxious for any type of relief that I made him drive straight to the nearest pharmacy in Ann Arbor. I took my first mestinon and 30 minutes later I did not sound like I had marbles in my mouth and I could read the highway signs. I said, “dad, this is it, they finally
figured me out!” I was ecstatic!


The prescription called for me to take 30mg of Mestinon every 4 hours and titrate up until I had side effects…i.e.I ran to the bathroom with what was second only to the urgency of a colonoscopy prep. That dosage was 60mg every 4 hours and so my journey began. A few weeks later I called U of M because while the Mestinon helped me during the day, after I slept I could not move my arm to turn off the alarm clock
and was so weak that a few times I fell after getting out of bed. I was also starting to feel kind of dizzy. The neurologist prescribed Mestinon Timespan for bedtime so the Mestinon wouldn’t wear off while I slept. It worked like a charm for my morning strength but the dizziness was still there, I felt like I had just stepped off a boat, or had a few too many cocktails.


Four weeks after my tentative diagnosis and med trial I had a follow up scheduled with my pulmonologist and new cardiologist. To my amazement I passed the 6 minute walk test without oxygen…bye, bye oxygen tank! I literally happy danced myself out of the office (albeit weak and out of breath, I didn't care I got to ditch the tank)!They said my diaphragm must have been so fatigued that it caused atelectasis which caused the lack of oxygenation. They said it was a pretty good confirmation of MG. So I got through November until Thanksgiving. I don’t know if I caught a bug or was just doing too much given how good I felt compared to how bad it was for 6 months
but I spent the first week of December hospitalized with a crisis. My breathing was severely affected and so were my legs. I was given 5 days of IVIG at the hospital by the pompous neuro previously mentioned who apologized to me a gazillion times and at discharge I was given a walker and In home nursing care for four weeks. At the
end of the nursing care which included physical therapy I was able to walk unassisted for most of the time. One week later I was in Ann Arbor for follow up with my fantastic neuro who confirmed the diagnosis and added prednisone and regular IVIG to my treatment schedule..


Unfortunately, I must have picked up a bug somewhere because a few days later I felt lousy, and I mean lousy. I checked my oxygen sats (I ordered a pulse ox off amazon.com when I was on the oxygen tank to monitor what my readings were) and my pulse kept shooting up and my oxygen kept dropping. I called my neuro right away and he said I was headed for a crisis fast and said I needed to go back to the
hospital. I said I didn’t want to go to the same one I had been at previously so he called the other major hospital in our city and spoke with a very kind, non pompous, 72 year old neurologist who followed his orders to a “T” and offered to assist me with any local needs I may have under the direction of my specialist in Ann Arbor. He was amazing, in my room at 8am every morning to check up on me and chat. I had 3 days of IVIg and started on bi-weekly in home treatments after
that.

The rest of the story is available here...on my blog.

Hugs and blessings,
Jen

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Summer and MG

Since we are in week two or more of weather in the 80's 90's I thought I would take a moment to address MG and heat. People with autoimmune diseases know all too well what the worst triggers for their illness are. These include stress, illness, infection, and obviously heat. Thankfully I have air conditioning, however it is a catch 22 because I LOVE SUMMER. Unless I am in a pool I cannot tolerate the temperature if it is above 75, I literally melt.

This morning it took 2 hours for my legs to work well enough to get out of bed. It is now 5:20pm and I am still stumbling and using the walker for safety reasons. In addition to my legs giving out the MG has attacked my muscles used for speech so it has been a quiet day in my home. I sound like a drunk when I talk and if I talk too long I have swallowing difficulties.

I know this sounds absolutely mortifying and while it is no walk in the park I am thankful that I have kept the breathing and swallowing difficulty at bay enough to avoid the hospital. Tomorrow is treatment day for me and for those of you who follow my blog you are well aware that as the days draw nearer to treatment I go downhill. The heat has just gotten the best of me this go around. I think two weeks ago it was my legs and eyes. I don't know why my legs have been a constant as I rest them when I am weak, maybe they just haven't had enough time to recover?

Some good things have happened in the past week that I would like to post on as well. Saturday was the Annual Meeting for the Great Lakes Myasthenia Foundation and it was a wonderful event. I met some new people and got to meet a few friends in person for the first time. The speakers did a fantastic job. Lisa Gigliotti was there to tell her encouraging story of living with courage and battling RA and MG. Dr. Glisson, a neuro opthalmologist presented a great presention with video on Ocular MG.

Wednesday, the radio show I taped 2 weeks ago aired locally. You can download it for free on iTunes, just search "The Johnnie Tuitel Show" or you can listen to the podcast here... http://www.publicrealityradio.org/programs/the-johnnie-tuitel-show/episodes/show-5-jen-walsh

I hope my readers are having a strong blessed week!
Jen

Monday, June 14, 2010

Radio Interviews, IVIG, Gardening, Naps, Oh MY...

So I didn't' post as promised. The interview, while fun as all get out, was also quite a bit of an energy sucker...note to self, don't schedule radio interviews 2 days pre-IVIG... Anywho, I made it through the interview and it will now air on Wednesday June 23rd at 10AM on WPRR. The best way to listen is to download it for free on iTunes under The Johnnie Tuitel Show. It will be available a couple of days after the air date. We discussed Myasthenia (by the end of the interview both Johnnie and Angie Kay could pronounce it), we discussed "invisible disibilities", and we discussed funny topics, it should be a great show.

IVIG - Went so well that I think I was only awake for about 30 minutes of it. On the flip side, I am still quite tired and my nose is stuffed so I may be catching a bug. I just have absolutely no oomph, no get up and go, and my eyes are having less and less normal periods which is really having an effect on driving.

Gardening - Okay so I have a self proclamed "black thumb" however, this year, I have been able to keep 2 house plants alive for more than a week (actually going on 6 months), and my flowers outside not only look good but are growing at an exponential rate. I finally figured out how to dead head. So, I may not be a complete and total tool when it comes to gardening...woo hoo.

Naps - need 'em, love 'em, gotta have 'em. It is a necessary evil when you are weak and tired 24/7. I never, NEVER used to nap, now I am napping almost daily. Okay, Update-complete.
Out - Jen

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Corragio! What it has done for me and my family.


Okay, first I have to give a shout out to my new friend and (unbeknownst to her) mentor, Lisa Gigliotti. Lisa has lived with two autoimmune diseases, namely Rheumatoid Arthritis and Myasthenia Gravis, and while facing many difficult challenges, pain, loss, and adversity she has never lost sight of what the powerful female mentors in her life instilled in her. Live with courage (Corragio!), never give up (Testadura!), and, there are many things in your life you CAN control.

What a message I needed to hear! While many of you know that the inner Sicilian in me does not allow me to lay over and play dead, I have had many challenges with the disease that has taken over my life since last summer. Like a ship in the night I have been navigating rough waters, not knowing what rough seas lay ahead. Daily pulling from places I did not know existed, the strength to work full time from home, raise my children in a loving and fun household, and make sure the man of my dreams and caregiver (something he did not sign up for 11 years ago) knew I adored him every day.

I feel God's presence and my Nana - Minnie Gegliano Brown - led to me this lighthouse, this beacon of hope - Lisa. I am sure she will be humbled to read this as she is not boastful. She mearly tells her story as it is - true and from the heart. But it would be wrong of me not to acknowledge the powerful change I have already felt sweep through me since finishing 2/3 of her book - Corragio! Lessons for Living From an Italian Grandmother Despite Illness, Pain, and Loss

I was led to this book by my local Myasthenia Foundation of America Chapter's Executive Director - Jamie Sheppard. She said that Lisa would be speaking at our annual MG meeting in June so I looked her up and there was the website www.withcourageican.com I looked at the website and read an excerpt from the book and felt an immediate connection. I too have Italian roots and shared a very close relationship with my Nana (Nonna as Lisa's family addresses her Grandmother), I too have Myasthenia Gravis, and I too am a Catholic Michigander. I wrote to tell her how excited I was to meet her and read the book and she sent a copy to me.

I am currently in the midst of devouring it. There are other similarities we share and the road of life and the cards we have been dealt can keep neither of us down. At a time where I was most concerned that my illness would rule me for the rest of my days, there arrived in my mailbox a beacon of hope. While I know I will fight this battle for the rest of my life - for there is no cure - I will not give up the fight. If it means I continue to endure the IVIG every 2 weeks, so be it. If it means swallowing an obnoxious amount of pills to ensure I can breathe, speak, walk, and talk - so be it. I will continue to fight. My children will have the healthiest mother possible because I will fight.

If you are a reader of my blog plagued by Myasthenia, or any chronic illness, I urge you to read Corragio! It is a story of rising up against all odds. It reminds us that while there are things that are taken from us physically, there remain many things that we control. We control how we react, we control what we do or do not do each day, we control what activity we try (maybe we find out our body will not participate but at least we can smile broadly and say we tried). This book has touched my life and changed my outlook. While I do not know what the future holds, I am ever thankful for the wonderful people I have met on this journey.

Last week, I could not see well enough to drive and had breathing problems so severe I worried I would end up back in the hospital. Today, I drove, I swam with my children, I watered the flowers. To those of you reading my blog not stricken with illness, heed my words - do not take the little things in life for granted, for it is the little things in life that make living so grand. Cherish them, take them in, for they are a gift. We are all on a ship, we can be the Captain of or vessel or a mere passenger, it is our choice. I have one thing to say and it will lead me from this day forward - Corragio!
Jen

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Feelin' groovy..da, da, da, da


I just get so giddy when my IVIG does the trick! I am feeling awesome! Energy..ahhh, strength...ahhh, vision...YES! And, biggest news of all....my baby turns 4 on Wednesday. Cinco De Mayo! Happy Birthday Miss Cindy Sassafrass.

I am feeling blessed beyond words. I am coming up to one year with this mess of a disease and I can say today I am feeling just great. I hope and pray it last through to the next treatment. The weather is certainly helping. Cool enough during the day to keep the doors and windows open and warm enough at night to keep the windows open. The fresh air is, well, refreshing. I just love this time of year. The lilacs bloomed too, I have the fragrance of fresh cut lilacs throughout the house. If anyone tries to say the mind and body are not connected, they are flat out wrong. That is not to say a positive attitude can heal, nor a negative one kill but they certainly have an effect.

I plan to post a new video tomorrow on my Vlog on a good day, if all goes well, to show just how normal I am when I don't have symptoms. Here's to looking at the bright side of life. Thank you for all your prayers and support.

Much love,
Jen

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Appetite and chronic disease


After making an "appetite bigger than stomach" mistake yesterday, and continuing to pay for it royally today, I thought I would blog about my personal challenges with food/weight loss/weight gain/etc...

When I first became ill with Myasthenia my muscles atrophied fast, my diaphragm was very weak, and my oxygen exchange was so poor that I relied on an oxygen tank to walk anywhere/sleep/shop/drive pretty much anything but sit in a chair. During that time I struggled constantly to eat. Eating made me feel sick, nauseaus. My organs weren't functioning properly due to lack of oxygen so it was very difficult to digest anything I ate. During that time I lost 25 pounds in as many days. I became so frail that one of the doctors put that she suspected anorexia in her notes. This saddened me as I fought daily to eat...anything.

After my diagnosis my appetite came back but by that time my stomach had become pretty small. Once I started the Mestinon I was getting stronger and food didn't disgust me anymore. I remember the first week I started the med going to my favorite lunch joint and cleaning my plate...I paid for that dearly when I learned what happens when you hit your max dose of Mestinon. For those of you who don't know, it hangs out at the neuromuscular junction giving the nerve signal a better chance to make it to the muscle receptor. When you hit your magic dose, it tends to stimulate the colon...suffice it to say I didn't gain any weight from that lunch;) But that's enough about that fun topic.

Moving forward to the medication that everyone who is anyone in the autoimmune disorders community eventually gets prescribed; PREDNISONE...oh the dreaded, beautiful prednisone. Get too little, it doesn't help at all... get too much and you end up with moon face, hump back, hair where you don't want it, and much much more...get just the right amount and hopefully you won't suffer major mood swings, diabetes, or osteoperosis. Fun right? One thing is for sure, no matter what your dose you will get hunger attacks where you can't control your appetite. this happened to me yesterday after a visit to Taco Bell...therein lies my first mistake!

So, lessons learned, just because the pit of your stomach is telling you it is a good idea to drink a bucket of Dr. Pepper and eat two taco supremes followed by a mexican pizza does not mean you should follow instruction. It turns out the stomach has a small IQ and a horrible memory. It has almost been 12 hours and I can still feel the ball of fast food hell eating a hole in my stomach lining. Oh, and in case you were wondering...if you cave in and listen to your stomach like I foolishly did..DO...NOT..BUY...FOOD...FOR...THE...KIDS...what they don't know won't hurt them. But when they come home from school 2 hours later and want to dine on what has your stomach in a vice, well you don't want to find out:)

That is all for now Ta, Ta, I am off to plays with the kiddos.

Hugs,
Jen

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Anxiously awaiting Friday...

My body is telling me it is time for my next treatment. It took 2 hours to get out of bed this morning. Do you have any idea how insanely irritating it is to start your day off not being able to lift your arm to turn off the alarm, knowing you have to get up to work, no one is in the house, and you have to pee? I wish I could say today was the only day but sadly, no this has become at least a once a week occurance.

I did get on the computer by 8:30 and kept my sheets dry so that was a major feat in and of itself - Ha! You gotta laugh at yourself right?

So update on the exercise bike...I got a hesitant, tentative okay. I had to promise to only do the lightest setting for 5 minutes every other day the first week, then bump it up by 5 minutes and follow the same routine the next week etc... If I felt, weak, dizzy, or anything else I am to stop and start back at a lower setting/shorter duration or just not do it that day.

On Monday I did my 5 minutes, I cheated and did it again in the evening and think I kicked major toxins that were locked in my muscles into the blood stream because the headache I experienced was of monumental proportions. Thank you Lord for making the maker of Imitrex!

In fun news, Pat is working on a video game project for his digital design class and had John and Cindy help him. I put a couple pics up for your viewing enjoyment...



Monday, April 12, 2010

Turning a new leaf


Things are looking up around here. I am still feeling pretty darn good. Well enough in fact that I have made a call to the neurologist to get the "okay" to start riding the exercise bike. My grandparents are downsizing right now and called last week to see if I would be interested in a "like new" Schwinn exercise bike. It is just like the one I used at the gym so I am super stoked. I don't want to kick off another exacerbation though so I will patiently wait for the call. See, with MG if my antibodies are on the rampage and I start working a muscle they feel called to action to strike and the last thing I want to do is send those nasty buggers to my legs again. It is killing me to look at the bike and not be able to use it but I'm being a good girl.

Spring Break has ended and the kids are back in school. Pat has a major project for his Software Engineering class so he is up to his ears in work and it is pretty quiet around here. I have the windows open, there is nothing like fresh air and sunshine to cheer one up. I just steeped some jasmine tea and I am enjoying the silence. I think this is going to be a good week.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

In need of direction, an answer, patience, or at least hope..

Okay, enough is enough, I am at my wits end. I cannot tolerate this lack of energy anymore. I am sore, weak, tired, and brain fuzzy. This is progressing into just being down in general. My blood test results were not startling enough to warrant anything other than some extra iron supplements and spacing my Imuran into one pill three times a day versus three pills once a day. It is getting rediculous the amount of pills I have to pop to survive. If I didn't know how I felt without them I may suspect them of being the culprit of my problems but I have had times when I have forgotten a dose and believe you me, I am in much more dire straights without the meds. To give my nearest and dearest an idea of how much work goes into just taking my pills I will layout for you how often I have to take my medicine.
6:00am - 3 pills - 2 types for MG (Myasthenia)
8:00am - 4 vitamins, 1 pill for OH (orthostatic hypotension) and sometimes 1/2 pill for MG
10:00am - 1 pill for mg, 1 pill for orthostatic hypotension
12:00pm - 2 vitamins, 1 pill for OH and sometimes 1/2 pill for MG
2:00pm - 1 pill for mg,
5:00pm - 2 vitamins
6:00pm - 1 pill for mg
8:00pm - 1 pill for thyroid
10:00pm - 4 pills for mg (three of these I will now divide and take with meals at 8, 12, and 5)
2X week change my estrogen patch
Albuterol if I have an upper Respiratory infection - usually needed once every couple of months
Pain medication as needed - try not to take and if I do it is only in the evening
IVIG - Treatment every 2 weeks for 6 hours straight
IV Prednisone - with my treatment
8 Benedryl day of treatment and tylenol day of treatment

So in any given day I have to take at least 22 pills including vitamins and in any given month I have to take 688 pills...crazy huh? I eat healthy, drink tons and tons of water, and I'm trying to exercise but that carries it's own risks.

Here are my blood test results, I finally got them in the mail. Next to the actual numbers are my baseline results from a little over a month ago. From the way that I feel it is significant but I guess it is too close to normal range for the doctors to do anything yet...yawn...
WBC - 3.6 was 5.19 at Baseline
Hgb - 11.3 was 13 at baseline
Hct - 32.8 was 38.7 at baseline
A/G ratio - .9 no baseline for reference but it says normal range is
1-2


In positive news, Pat is almost done with his first full year back in college and I am so proud of all the hard work he has put in. I am blessed to have an amazingly supportive group of family and friends that continue to come clean and babysit myself and the kids on my really bad days when Pat is at school. Work continues to go well, I am so blessed to be able to work from home, we would be begging on the street corners and I would not have access to medical treatment if I didn't have my job. The kids are filled with joy and I can't help but be happy when I am around them. For this I am most thankful. Your continued words of support and prayer are always appreciated. I will try to keep my body strong and my head positive. I know things have been dire on my blog but as important as it is for me to stay as calm and relaxed as possible, it is very therapeutic and diagnostically helpful to have an accurate representation of my journey so no fluff and puff here, just the nitty gritty, though I will continue to focus on the positives in my closing so as not to fall into a deep dark abyss.

Blessings of spring, sunshine, and strength to you and yours

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Oh so sleepy...yawn...



Imagine having the flu for over a month. That is how I feel every day. I wake up with achy joints, sore muscles, and fatigue that is unexplainable in words. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I am waiting for a call back from my neuro in regards to my blood test results one month post starting Imuran. It turns out my white blood cell count, hemeglobin, hematocrit, and a/g ratio are all low and it is making me feel like absolute crap. If you google it, you come up with the boy in the bubble or other scary stuff. Basically I have no immune system and zero energy right now. I want to go back to feeling crappy the way I got used to, at least I could function then. Sorry so down, I am just sooo tired.

In more positive news, the kids had a blast for Easter. Cindy calls the Easter Bunny "Bunny Easter." John is getting a little too old, but never too old for candy and money:) I woke up Easter morning unable to walk, about 2 hours later I was mobile and then during brunch I couldn't use my hands any more, kinda hard to eat when you can't hold a fork...that passed as well, don't worry I'm not starving:)