Forgiving myself for things I cannot control.

In the spirit of the New Year I am going to try to get out of my funk and get over myself. I am who I am and I cannot help the fact that I have this disease, but I can choose how to respond to it. More times than not I find myself apologizing for the fact that I cannot walk or talk or go out or see. Is that how I would treat someone else with a severe illness, expect an apology? Goodness no! and yet I find myself saying I am sorry everyday, in fact sometimes I weep.

You see, not too long ago I was the go to girl, the party planner, the social butterfly, the Yes I Can Woman. Now I cannot drive, many days I cannot speak, sometimes I can't even lift my glass to take a sip of water, and that is if I can swallow. But the crazy part of this illness, called Myasthenia Gravis, is that there are parts of every day where I can do most things. As long as I don't overdo it I can make it through one day at a time.

I am not saying that 2012 will not have it's share of hospital stays and treatment reactions. What I am saying is I will accept myself for who I am. I will not apologize. I will love myself and I will give what I can. That is all I can do and I am darn proud of how far I have come.

Each of you are special and each of you still has something to learn and to offer. Embrace it! You mean something! You are not your disease!

Love and Peace,
Jen